Pun..

1. Those who jump off a bridge in Paris are in Seine.
2. A man's home is his castle, in a manor of speaking.
3. Dijon vu - the same mustard as before.
4. Practice safe eating - always use condiments.
5. Shotgun wedding - A case of wife or death.
6. A man needs a mistress just to break the monogamy.
7. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
8. Dancing cheek-to-cheek is really a form of floor play.
9. Does the name Pavlov ring a bell?
10. Condoms should be used on every conceivable occasion.
11. Reading while sunbathing makes you well red.
12. When two egotists meet, it's an I for an I.
13. A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two tired.
14. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead give away.)
15. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
16. In democracy your vote counts. In feudalism your count votes.
17. She was engaged to a boyfriend with a wooden leg but broke it off.
18. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
19. If you don't pay your exorcist, you get repossessed.
20. With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.
21. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
22. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
23. Every calendar's days are numbered.
24. A lot of money is tainted - It taint yours and it taint mine.
25. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
26. He had a photographic memory that was never developed.
27. A midget fortune-teller who escapes from prison is a small medium at large.
28. Once you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.
29. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.
30. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
31. Acupuncture is a jab well done.