Creative Puns for Educated Minds..

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was -- Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, -- but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, -- but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class -- because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder -- and got a little behind in his work..
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, -- it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road -- and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France -- would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. -- They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. -- Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. -- The police are looking into it..
12. Atheism -- is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. -- One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.-- Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, -- 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.-- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road -- is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison -- was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray -- is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet -- writes inverse.
21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. -- In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, -- they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: -- Practice safe sects!