Creative Puns for Educated Minds..

1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was -- Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, -- but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whisky maker, -- but he loved her still.
4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class -- because it was a weapon of math disruption.
5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder -- and got a little behind in his work..
6. No matter how much you push the envelope, -- it'll still be stationery.
7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road -- and was cited for littering.
8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France -- would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
9. Two silk worms had a race. -- They ended up in a tie.
10. Time flies like an arrow. -- Fruit flies like a banana.
11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. -- The police are looking into it..
12. Atheism -- is a non-prophet organization.
13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. -- One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a head.'
14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.-- Then, it hit me.
15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, -- 'Keep off the Grass.'
16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital.-- His grandmother telephoned to ask how he was, a nurse said, 'No change yet.'
17. A chicken crossing the road -- is poultry in motion.
18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison -- was a small medium at large.
19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray -- is now a seasoned veteran.
20. A backward poet -- writes inverse.
21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts. -- In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
22. When cannibals ate a missionary, -- they got a taste of religion.
23. Don't join dangerous cults: -- Practice safe sects!

Too Busy for a Friend..

One day a teacher asked her students to list the names of the other students in the room on two sheets of paper, leaving a space between each name.

Then she told them to think of the nicest thing they could say about each of their classmates and write it down.

It took the remainder of the class period to finish their assignment, and as the students left the room, each one handed in the papers. 

That Saturday, the teacher wrote down the name of each student on a separate sheet of paper, and listed what everyone else had said about that individual.

On Monday she gave each student his or her list. Before long, the entire class was smiling. 'Really?' she heard whispered. 'I never knew that I meant anything to anyone!' and, 'I didn't know others liked me so much,' were most of the comments.

No one ever mentioned those papers in class again. She never knew if they discussed them after class or with their parents, but it didn't matter. The exercise had accomplished its purpose. The students were happy with themselves and one another.. That group of students moved on.

Several years later, one of the students was killed in Vietnam and his teacher attended the funeral of that special student. She had never seen a serviceman in a military coffin before. He looked so handsome, so mature.

The church was packed with his friends. One by one those who loved him took a last walk by the coffin. The teacher was the last one to bless the coffin.

As she stood there, one of the soldiers who acted as pallbearer came up to her. 'Were you Mark's math teacher?' he asked. She nodded: 'yes.' Then he said: 'Mark talked about you a lot.'

After the funeral, most of Mark's former classmates went together to a luncheon. Mark's mother and father were there, obviously waiting to speak with his teacher.

'We want to show you something,' his father said, taking a wallet out of his pocket 'They found this on Mark when he was killed. We thought you might recognize it.'

Opening the billfold, he carefully removed two worn pieces of notebook paper that had obviously been taped, folded and refolded many times. The teacher knew without looking that the papers were the ones on which she had listed all the good things each of Mark's classmates had said about him.

'Thank you so much for doing that,' Mark's mother said. 'As you can see, Mark treasured it.'

All of Mark's former classmates started to gather around. Charlie smiled rather sheepishly and said, 'I still have my list. It's in the top drawer of my desk at home.'

Chuck's wife said, 'Chuck asked me to put his in our wedding album.'

'I have mine too,' Marilyn said. 'It's in my diary.'

Then Vicki, another classmate, reached into her pocketbook, took out her wallet and showed her worn and frazzled list to the group. 'I carry this with me at all times,' Vicki said and without batting an eyelash, she continued: 'I think we all saved our lists.'

That's when the teacher finally sat down and cried. She cried for Mark and for all his friends who would never see him again.

The density of people in society is so thick that we forget that life will end one day. And we don't know when that one day will be.

So please, tell the people you love and care for, that they are special and important.. Tell them, before it is too late.

જો કોલંબસ ને પત્ની હોત તો....??

જો કોલંબસ ને પત્ની હોત તો,

મને વિશ્વાશ છે કે એ ક્યારેય અમેરિકા ના શોધી શકત....!

કારણ જાણો છો?  કેમ?

કેમ કે જો એને પત્નિ હોત તો એની વચ્ચે આ સંવાદ હોત જ.....

પત્ની :

પત્ની એને પૂછતી?

તમે ક્યા જાઓ છો?

કોની સાથે જાઓ છો?

શા માટે જાઓ છો?

શુ શોધવા જાઓ છો?

એનાથી શુ થશે?

ફક્ત તમે જ કેમ?

બીજા નથી?

તમે જશો પછી હુ શુ કરીશ?

શુ હુ તમારી સાથે આવુ?

તમે પાછા ક્યારે આવશો?

તમે રહેશો ક્યા?

તમે ખાશો ક્યા?

તમે પીશો ક્યા?

તમે મને યાદ કરશો ને?

ભૂલી નહી જાઓ ને?

બસ પછી કોલંબસ શુ બોલ્યો હોત!

કોલંબસ :

લે, મારી મા! નથી જતો ખુશ !!!!!!

The Four Stages of Life..

1. You believe in Santa Claus.
2. You don't believe in Santa Claus.
3. You are Santa Claus.
4. You look like Santa Claus.

Great Truths About Getting Old..

1. Growing old is mandatory; growing up is optional.
2. Forget the health food. I need all the preservatives I can get.
3. When you fall down, you wonder what else you can do while you're down there.
4. You're getting old when you get the same sensation from a rocking chair that you once got from a roller coaster.
5. It's frustrating when you know all the answers but nobody bothers to ask you the questions.
6. Time may be a great healer, but it's a lousy beautician.
7. Wisdom comes with age, but sometimes age comes alone.

Great Truths That Adults Have Learned..

1. Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.
2. Wrinkles don't hurt.
3. Families are like fudge...mostly sweet, with a few nuts.
4. Today's mighty oak is just yesterday's nut that held its ground.
5. Laughing is good exercise. It's like jogging on the inside.
6. Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fiber, not the toy.

Mother Theresa's Prayer

May today there be peace within.

May you trust God that you are exactly where you are meant to be.

May you not forget the infinite possibilities that are born of faith.

May you use those gifts that you have received, and pass on the love that has been given to you.

May you be content knowing you are a child of God. Let this presence settle into your bones, and allow your soul the freedom to sing, dance, praise and love.

It is there for each and every one of us.

Most beautiful rainbow

As we grow up, we learn that even the one person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down probably will. You will have your heart broken probably more than once and it's harder every time. You'll break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry because time is passing too fast, and you'll eventually lose someone you love. So take too many pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a minute of happiness you'll never get back. Don't be afraid that your life will end, be afraid that it will never begin.