Books to Set You Free..

Courtsey - The Wall Street Journal
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'The Year of the Hare' is only the most Finnish, and perhaps most antically Zen-ish, of a shelf-load of books that tell us to find and live by our own ideas of contentment. Here are a few other memorable summonses to a new life:

The Moon and Sixpence By Somerset Maugham (1919)
Maugham may have looked and sounded like an upstanding member of the British ruling classes, but all his books are about a longing to escape—through romance or mysticism if not downright flight. In this, one of the greatest of his novels, he tweaks the story of Gauguin's journey to send a British stockbroker to a richer life in Tahiti. Maugham was the rare soul who knew both cosmopolitan society and the runaway's life—and how the latter could somehow complete the trajectory of the former.

Walden By Henry David Thoreau (1854)
He traveled only a mile and a quarter from Concord's railroad station; he stayed in his cabin only two years, two months and two days; and he held mass anti-slavery meetings there, while also taking off for excursions to Maine (and jail). But the details don't matter. What Thoreau shows us is how easy it is to step off the grid, think more carefully about our choices, and live a little closer to our senses and truest needs. A man is rich, he knew, 'in proportion to the number of things which he can afford to leave alone.'

Eat, Pray, Love By Elizabeth Gilbert (2006)
This book has become so popular and so widely envied that it's hard to see it clearly. But Ms. Gilbert won seven million readers mostly by exploring, with unusual intelligence and wit, something many of us feel: Why stick around in New York, writing articles and drifting between partners who don't entirely fulfill you, when there's a whole wide world to explore? The beauty of this memoir is that she is honest enough to know her story sounds like cliché, even as she is open, warm and wise enough to find a new life, a clearer sense of herself and, yes, a new husband.

A Journey in Ladakh By Andrew Harvey (1983)
Harvey held a sinecure fellowship at Oxford—the youngest to win such in the university's 800-year history—when he took off for an almost unvisited corner of the Himalayas in northern India. The people and places he met in Ladakh proved so eye-opening that he left Oxford, became a full-time mystic and, in the 30 years since, has published dozens of books on Christianity, Sufism, Buddhism and much else.

As You Like It By William Shakespeare (1599)
The characters in many of Shakespeare's last plays, culminating in 'The Winter's Tale' and 'The Tempest,' find that, once exiled (however reluctantly) from their homes, everything feels like a holiday. But even in this much earlier comedy, the exiled protagonists lose their fixed identities in wandering—and promptly find themselves in the company of clowns and zanies who might have stolen right out of 'The Year of the Hare.' 'And this our life, exempt from public haunt, finds tongues in trees, books in the running brooks, sermons in stones, and good in everything,' says the Duke, sounding startlingly similar to Vatanen.

(To lovers of 'A Burnt-Out Case' by Graham Greene, of 'Steppenwolf' by Hermann Hesse, of 'The Seven Storey Mountain' by Thomas Merton, and of all the many other books—'Playing With Water' by James Hamilton-Paterson!—that could be here, I apologize. They all could change your life.)

—Pico Iyer

Making 2011 the Year of Great Relationships..

Some tips for improving interactions with loved ones:

1. Share more. Be open and honest about what is really going on in your life. This will help others relate to you better and, in turn, open up to you.
2. Make time to talk. Agree to a time to chat each day. Consider setting a time limit, especially for couples where one person likes to talk more than the other. It helps the quiet person speak up—and the chatty one focus on what's really worth saying.
3. Go outside together. Being outdoors relieves stress and makes it easier to connect. There's also less need for direct eye contact, sometimes a good thing.
4. Discuss finances. Money is one of the most divisive issues in a relationship. Discuss it and decide how to manage it before it becomes a problem.
5. Turn off the computer. And the iPhone, TV and videogames.Too many families spend evenings with their separate electronic devices. Try talking without a screen in front of you.
6. Make new friends. Research shows that high-quality relationships are important. Add to your support network by reaching out

  Courtsey - The Wall Street Journal

Merry Christmas Everyone!

A good laugh, even if you’re NOT over 50 years..

When I bought my Blackberry I thought about the 30-year business I ran with 1800 employees, all without a cell phone that plays music, takes videos, pictures and communicates with Facebook and Twitter. I signed up under duress for Twitter and Facebook, so my seven kids, their spouses, 13 grandkids and 2 great grand kids could communicate with me in the modern way. I figured I could handle something as simple as Twitter with only 140 characters of space.

That was before one of my grandkids hooked me up for Tweeter, Tweetree, Twhirl, Twitterfon, Tweetie and Twittererific Tweetdeck, Twitpix and something that sends every message to my cell phone and every other program within the texting world.

My phone was beeping every three minutes with the details of everything except the bowel movements of the entire next generation. I am not ready to live like this and now I keep my cell phone in the garage in my golf bag.

The kids bought me a GPS for my last birthday because they say I get lost every now and then going over to the grocery store or library. I keep that in a box under my tool bench with the Blue tooth [it's red] phone I am supposed to use when I drive. I wore it once and was standing in line at Barnes and Noble talking to my wife and everyone in the nearest 50 yards was glaring at me. I had to take my hearing aid out to use it, and I got a little loud.

I mean the GPS looked pretty smart on my dash board, but the lady inside that gadget was the most annoying, rudest person I had run into in a long time. Every 10 minutes, she would sarcastically say, "Re-calculating." You would think that she could be nicer. It was like she could barely tolerate me. She would let go with a deep sigh and then tell me to make a U-turn at the next light. Then if I made a right turn instead…well, it was not a good relationship.

When I get really lost now, I call my wife and tell her the name of the cross streets and while she is starting to develop the same tone as Gypsy, the GPS lady, at least she loves me.

To be perfectly frank, I am still trying to learn how to use the cordless phones in our house. We have had them for 4 years, but I still haven't figured out how I can lose three phones all at once and have run around digging under chair cushions and checking bathrooms and the dirty laundry baskets when the phone rings.

The world is just getting too complex for me. They even mess me up every time I go to the grocery store. You would think they could settle on something themselves but this sudden "Paper or Plastic?" every time I check out just knocks me for a loop. I bought some of those cloth reusable bags to avoid looking confused, but I never remember to take them in with me.

Now I toss it back to them. When they ask me, "Paper or Plastic?" I just say, "Doesn't matter to me. I am bi-sacksual." Then it's their turn to stare at me with a blank look.

I was recently asked if I tweet. I answered, "No, but I do toot a lot."

Where there is a will, there is always a way..

An old man lived alone in Minnesota. He wanted to spade his potato garden, but it was very hard work. His only son, who would have helped him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and mentioned his situation.

‘Dear Son,

I am feeling pretty bad because it looks like I won't be able to plant my potato garden this year. I hate to miss doing the garden, because your mother always loved planting time. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. If you were here, all my troubles would be over. I know you would dig the plot for me, if you weren't in prison.

Love, Dad’

Shortly, the old man received this telegram:

'For Heaven's sake, Dad,don't dig up the garden !!

That's where I buried the GUNS!'

At 4 a.m. The next morning, a dozen FBI agents and local police officers showed up and dug up the entire garden without finding any guns.

Confused, the old man wrote another note to his son telling him what happened, and asked him what to do next.

His son's reply was: 'Go ahead and plant your potatoes, Dad. It's the best I could do for you from here.'

Moral Of the Story:

NO MATTER WHERE YOU ARE IN THE WORLD, IF YOU HAVE DECIDED TO DO SOMETHING DEEP FROM YOUR HEART, YOU CAN DO IT.

Absolutely Brilliant..

The European Commission has just announced an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the European Union rather than German, which was the other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a 5- year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".

In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c".. Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.

There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f".. This will make words like fotograf 20% shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be expekted to reach the stage where more komplikated changes are possible.

Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have always ben a deterent to akurate speling.

Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the languag is disgrasful and it should go away.

By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v".

During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl riten styl.

Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi TU understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.

Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted in ze forst plas.

How to Tell the Sex of a Fly..

A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband

stalking around with a fly swatter.

"What are you doing?" She asked.

"Hunting Flies" He responded.

"Oh. ! Killed any so far ??" She asked.

"Yep, 3 males, 2 Females," he replied.

Intrigued, she asked.

"How can you tell them apart?"

He responded,

"3 were on a beer can,

2 were on the phone."

To Be 6 Again!

A man was sitting on the edge of the bed, watching his wife, who was looking at herself in the mirror. Since her birthday was not far off he asked what she'd like to have for her birthday.

'I'd like to be six again', she replied, still looking in the mirror .

On the morning of her Birthday, he arose early, made her a nice big bowl of Lucky Charms, and then took her to Six Flags theme park. What a day! He put her on every ride in the park; the Death Slide, the Wall of Fear, the Screaming Roller Coaster, everything there was.

Five hours later they staggered out of the theme park. Her head was reeling and her stomach felt upside down. He then took her to a McDonald's where he ordered her a Happy Meal with extra fries and a chocolate shake.

Then it was off to a movie, popcorn, a soda pop, and her favorite candy, M&M's. What a fabulous adventure!

Finally she wobbled home with her husband and collapsed into bed exhausted.

He leaned over his wife with a big smile and lovingly asked, 'Well Dear, what was it like being six again?'

Her eyes slowly opened and her expression suddenly changed.

'I meant my dress size, you retard!!!!'

The moral of the story: Even when a man is listening, he is gonna get it wrong.