Punographics

• I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
• When chemists die, they barium.
• Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
• I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
• How does Moses make his tea? Hebrews it.
• I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
• This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
• I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
• I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
• They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
• PMS jokes aren't funny; period.
• Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.
• We are going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
• I didn't like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.
• Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
• When you get a bladder infection urine trouble.
• Broken pencils are pointless.
• I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
• What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
• England has no kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool.
• I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
• I dropped out of communism class because of lousy Marx.
• All the toilets in New York's police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
• I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
• Haunted French pancakes give me the creapes.
• Velcro — what a rip off!
• A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy
• Venison for dinner again? Oh deer!
• The earthquake in Washington obviously was the government's fault.
• Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too. 

Happy Independence Day - India!

"To tolerate someone else's mistakes is one thing. To forgive them is even greater."

Make A Difference

If you've ever wanted to make a greater impact and empowering influence in your world, I hope you'll enjoy today's movie as a gentle reminder about the one thing that can transform any situation in literally 30 seconds or less: compassion.

http://pep.rs/2/434/7021519/1/664/41834/1330374121

Interesting

Read the following  sentence  carefully :

"I do not know where family doctors acquired illegibly perplexing handwriting;  nevertheless,

extraordinary pharmaceutical intellectuality counterbalancing  indecipherability,

transcendentalizes intercommunication' s incomprehensibleness ".

This is a sentence where the first word is one letter long, the second word  of two letters; the third word is three letters long ............ the 8th word is 8  letters long and so on ... the 20th word is 20 letters long !!

Epic Troll

Girl said: Dad, I'm in love with a boy who is far away from me. I am in India and he lives in Alaska.

We met on a dating website, became friends on facebook, had...long chats on whatsapp, he proposed to me on skype, and now we've had 2 months of relationship through Viber.

I need your blessings and good wishes, daddy.

Dad said: Wow! Really!! Then get married on twitter, have fun on tango. Buy your kids on e-bay, receive them through gmail.  And if you are fed up with your husband...sell him on Amazon.

"When you build a house, every brick counts. When you build a character, every thought counts. You are what you think. Love, purity, peace, wisdom - the more you think of these qualities, the more you will become them."

"Silence, happiness, love and blessings are important aspects. Happiness leads to good health. It is only you who can give this medicine to yourself. Some bring illness to themselves through anger, greed, unfulfilled desires, expectations, suppression of feelings and relationships not based on true love. Look in your heart, you will know where your illness comes from. There are three ingredients for a long and healthy life: live with attention but without worry; use time in a worthwhile way; keep your thoughts pure, positive and filled with strength."