Friday, February 24, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Thought of the Day..
If you are right then there is no need to get angry. And if you are wrong then you don't have any right to get angry.
Patience with family is love,
Patience with others is respect,
Patience with self is confidence and
Patience with GOD is faith.
Never Think Hard about PAST, It brings Tears.
Don't Think more about FUTURE, It brings Fears. Live this Moment with a Smile, It brings Cheers!!!
Every test in our life makes us bitter or better,
Every problem comes to make us or break us,
Choice is ours whether we become victim or victorious!!!
Search a beautiful heart not a beautiful face. Beautiful things are not always good but good things are always beautiful. Do you know, why God created gaps between fingers? So that someone who is special to you, comes and fills those gaps by holding your hands forever.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
The 50 Top Puns..
- I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
- I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. It's impossible to put down.
- Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.
- It's not that the man did not know how to juggle, he just didn't have the balls to do it.
- I couldn't quite remember how to throw a boomerang, but eventually it came back to me.
- There was a sign on the lawn at a drug re-hab center that said 'Keep off the Grass'.
- I was going to look for my missing watch, but I could never find the time.
- I used to have a fear of hurdles, but I got over it.
- A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
- Police were called to a daycare where a three-year-old was resisting a rest.
- To write with a broken pencil is pointless.
- He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.
- Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
- I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.I used to be addicted to soap, but I'm clean now.
- Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
- A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.
- Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.
- A new type of broom came out, it is sweeping the nation.
- A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a hospital. When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was a nurse said 'No change yet'.
- The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
- Some people's noses and feet are built backwards: their feet smell and their noses run.
- When William joined the army he disliked the phrase 'fire at will'.
- Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink.
- There was once a cross-eyed teacher who couldn't control his pupils.
- The butcher backed up into the meat grinder and got a little behind in his work.
- I wanted to lose weight so I went to the paint store. I heard I could get thinner there.
- Lightning sometimes shocks people because it just doesn't know how to conduct itself.
- A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.
- Sleeping comes so naturally to me, I could do it with my eyes closed.
- Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
- Atheists don't solve exponential equations because they don't believe in higher powers.
- It's raining cats and dogs. Well, as long as it doesn't reindeer.
- I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.
- My new theory on inertia doesn't seem to be gaining momentum.
- I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn't help me.
- The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
- What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing - but it let out a little whine.
- When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
- If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
- She got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun.The dead batteries were given out free of charge.
- John Deere's manure spreader is the only equipment the company won't stand behind.
- Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends, but what would be the point?
- I was arrested after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
- A hungry traveller stops at a monastery and is taken to the kitchens. A brother is frying chips. 'Are you the friar?' he asks. 'No. I'm the chip monk,' he replies.
- Yesterday I accidentally swallowed some food coloring. The doctor says I'm OK, but I feel like I've dyed a little inside.
- What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
- Two peanuts were walking in a tough neighborhood and one of them was a-salted.
Friday, February 17, 2012
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
Valentine Story
John Blanchard stood up from the bench, straightened his Army uniform, and studied the crowd of people making their way through Grand Central Station. He looked for the girl whose heart he knew, but whose face he didn't, the girl with the rose.
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, butwith the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond.
The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.
When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.
I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be, grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.
"I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard,and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"
The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."
His interest in her had begun thirteen months before in a Florida library. Taking a book off the shelf he found himself intrigued, not with the words of the book, butwith the notes penciled in the margin. The soft handwriting reflected a thoughtful soul and insightful mind. In the front of the book, he discovered the previous owner's name, Miss Hollis Maynell. With time and effort he located her address. She lived in New York City. He wrote her a letter introducing himself and inviting her to correspond.
The next day he was shipped overseas for service in World War II. During the next year and one month the two grew to know each other through the mail. Each letter was a seed falling on a fertile heart. A romance was budding. Blanchard requested a photograph, but she refused. She felt that if he really cared, it wouldn't matter what she looked like.
When the day finally came for him to return from Europe, they scheduled their first meeting - 7:00 PM at the Grand Central Station in New York. "You'll recognize me," she wrote, "by the red rose I'll be wearing on my lapel." So at 7:00 he was in the station looking for a girl whose heart he loved, but whose face he'd never seen.
I'll let Mr. Blanchard tell you what happened:
A young woman was coming toward me, her figure long and slim. Her blonde hair lay back in curls from her delicate ears; her eyes were blue as flowers. Her lips and chin had a gentle firmness, and in her pale green suit she was like springtime come alive. I started toward her, entirely forgetting to notice that she was not wearing a rose. As I moved, a small, provocative smile curved her lips. "Going my way, sailor?" she murmured. Almost uncontrollably I made one step closer to her, and then I saw Hollis Maynell. She was standing almost directly behind the girl. A woman well past 40, she had graying hair tucked under a worn hat. She was more than plump, her thick-ankled feet thrust into low-heeled shoes. The girl in the green suit was walking quickly away. I felt as though I was split in two, so keen was my desire to follow her, and yet so deep was my longing for the woman whose spirit had truly companioned me and upheld my own. And there she stood. Her pale, plump face was gentle and sensible, her gray eyes had a warm and kindly twinkle. I did not hesitate. My fingers gripped the small worn blue leather copy of the book that was to identify me to her. This would not be love, but it would be something precious, something perhaps even better than love, a friendship for which I had been and must ever be, grateful. I squared my shoulders and saluted and held out the book to the woman, even though while I spoke I felt choked by the bitterness of my disappointment.
"I'm Lieutenant John Blanchard,and you must be Miss Maynell. I am so glad you could meet me; may I take you to dinner?"
The woman's face broadened into a tolerant smile. "I don't know what this is about, son," she answered, "but the young lady in the green suit who just went by, she begged me to wear this rose on my coat. And she said if you were to ask me out to dinner, I should go and tell you that she is waiting for you in the big restaurant across the street. She said it was some kind of test!"
It's not difficult to understand and admire Miss Maynell's wisdom. The true nature of a heart is seen in its response to the unattractive. "Tell me whom you love," Houssaye wrote, "And I will tell you who you are."
Sunday, February 12, 2012
Friday, February 10, 2012
Burden Of My Own..
A Monarch of long ago had twin sons. As they grew to young manhood, the king sought a fair way to designate one of them as crown prince. All who knew the young men thought them equal in intelligence, wit, personal charm, health, and physical strength. Being a keenly observant king, he thought he detected a trait in one which was not shared by the other.
One of my advisors there will place equal burdens on your shoulders. My crown will one day go to the one who first returns bearing his yoke like a king should."
Calling them to his council chamber one day, he said, "My sons, the day will come when one of you must succeed me as king. The weight of sovereignty is very heavy. To find out which of you is better able to bear them cheerfully, I am sending you together to a far corner of the kingdom.
One of my advisors there will place equal burdens on your shoulders. My crown will one day go to the one who first returns bearing his yoke like a king should."
In a spirit of friendly competition, the brothers set out together. Soon they overtook an aged woman struggling under a burden that seemed far too heavy for her frail body. One of the boys suggested that they stop to help her. The other protested: "We have a saddle of our own to worry about. Let us be on our way."
The objector hurried on while the other stayed behind to give aid to the aged woman. Along the road, from day to day, he found others who also needed help. A blind man took him miles out of his way, and a lame man slowed him to a cripple's walk.
Eventually he did reach his father's advisor, where he secured his own yoke and started home with it safely on his shoulders.
When he arrived at the palace, his brother met him at the gate, and greeted him with dismay.
He said, "I don't understand. I told our father the weight was too heavy to carry. However did you do it?"
The future king replied thoughtfully, "I suppose when I helped others carry their yoke, I found the strength to carry my own."
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Few Jokes..
एक बार एक आम आदमी जोर जोर से चिल्लारहा था, "प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है ."
पुलिस के एक सिपाही ने सुना और उस की गर्दन पकड़ के दो रसीद किये और बोला, "चल थाने, प्रधानमंत्री की बेइज्ज़ती करता है?"
वो बोला, "साहब मै तो कह रहा था फ़्रांस का प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है." \
ये सुन कर सिपाही ने दो और लगाए और बोला, "साले, बेवक़ूफ़ बनता है! क्या हमे नहीं पता कहाँ का प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है?"
-----
एक दिन सोनिया गांधी के सपने में महात्मा गांधीजी आकर बोले,
"मैने मरते समय कॉंग्रेस को सादगी, ईमानदारी, टोपी, चश्मा और डंडा दिया था, कहॉं है वो?"
सोनिया ने अत्यंत विनम्रता से कहा,
पुलिस के एक सिपाही ने सुना और उस की गर्दन पकड़ के दो रसीद किये और बोला, "चल थाने, प्रधानमंत्री की बेइज्ज़ती करता है?"
वो बोला, "साहब मै तो कह रहा था फ़्रांस का प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है." \
ये सुन कर सिपाही ने दो और लगाए और बोला, "साले, बेवक़ूफ़ बनता है! क्या हमे नहीं पता कहाँ का प्रधानमंत्री निकम्मा है?"
-----
एक दिन सोनिया गांधी के सपने में महात्मा गांधीजी आकर बोले,
"मैने मरते समय कॉंग्रेस को सादगी, ईमानदारी, टोपी, चश्मा और डंडा दिया था, कहॉं है वो?"
सोनिया ने अत्यंत विनम्रता से कहा,
- "टोपी तो राहुल लोगोंको पहना रहा है.
- सादगी मेरे और प्रियंका के पास है.
- ...चश्मा मनमोहन के पास है.
- ईमानदारी स्विस और ईटली के बैंक में सेफ है
- और डंडा आम आदमी की सेवा में लगा रखा है.
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